The Dynamic Duo walked onto the field, waving and flashing thumbs-ups to the throngs of cheering onlookers. Without saying a word, they then proceeded to perform a dizzying array of cartwheels, and completed the performance with a jazzy bow. Witnesses claimed that it was a great way to kick off the Fourth of July weekend.
Lady Liberty off to a good start:
Uncle Sam's Step Sister's calculated approach:
Signature finish:
"Over the past couple weeks, there have been a few of these cartwheel performances at these games, but this was the first time that we've seen the Statue of Liberty and one of Uncle Sam's relatives," said one Maple Grove Soccer Mom. "I really like it when they do the splits, but I could see how Lady Liberty would have a hard time pulling the splits off."
After the peformance was complete, several kids ran onto the field to imitate the awesomeness that had just occurred. (None of them did the splits either.) All of the witnesses interviewed wanted an encore performance, but for some reason, none of them were willing to join in the encore performance. One witness did offer up pom-poms, and another offered to do somersaults, but not cartwheels (and certainly not the splits).
Crowd:
The performance inspired pandemonium on the sidelines. The crowd was teeming with electricity and cheering on the duo. One witness was injured by a flying bottle while she was being interviewed by our reporter at the scene. The local wildlife was a little out of hand as well, as at least one bird targetted a camera bag in a fly-over bombing.
Yes, all of this happened.
Video proof of these events will be released for public consumption if the Ault Family meets their fundraising goals. ChipIn today -- don't deprive the public of their right to know the truth!!
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